Liebfraumilch Rheinhessen Qualitätswein

So here we are. The infamous, dreaded Liebfraumilch. One day it had to happen. And that day is now. In the really olden days, Liebfraumilch (beloved Lady's milk) was a label for high quality wines with low yield from the city of Worms (Rheinhessen). It was a highly sought after example of German wine making.

Now it can be put on pretty much any vaguely sweet wine from the Rheinhessen area of Germany that has some bits of grapes such as Riesling or Müller-Thurgau in it. Sweet, cheap (£2.82 in this instance) and not very cheerful, these wines do now stand for German wine in the UK, at least for the Brits that do not care much about wine or are not interested in German wine. So it seemed like the logical choice for the first wine in what may become a regular Wine Rambler category: supermarket wine.

On the label it says "Liebfraumilch Rheinhessen Qualitätswein". No producer, no vineyard, not even a vintage. The label also informs us that this wine should be drunk within six months of purchase. This is a lie, as is Sainsburys bold statement: "We're sure you'll love this product."

This wine should not be drunk at all.

Unwind the cup and you get a nose of yeast and sweet, cheap alcohol. In the mouth there is some more yeast and sweetness and a bitter, alcoholic taste. Apart from this: nothing else. If you were a braindead zombie, this would be your wine. Or if you wanted to become one.

To quote the movie 300: "This will not be over quickly. You will not enjoy this."